HOW TO DRIVE
Two controls. One lane. Unlimited ways to meet a fence.
Steer, sort of
Your tractor wanders like it's looking for something it lost. Suggest a direction - hope for the best!
Dodge the countryside
Hay bales, rocks, fences, puddles and one deeply inconvenient tree. All of them hurt.
Feather the brakes
Hold to slow down - until they overheat. Then you're just a passenger with opinions.
MEET THE TRACTORS
Three machines, each with its own relationship to straight lines.
(Tap one - it honks.)
Old Banger
It works. Mostly. Wanders like it had a long night.
Free · Wobbly · Smoky
Speed
Handling
Brakes
Farmhand 2000
A brighter, cleaner workhorse. Tracks straighter, pulls harder.
Faster · Grippier
Speed
Handling
Brakes
Wrecking Ball
Built to hit things. Every smash pays out coins.
Smash = Cash · Heavy
Speed
Handling
Brakes
SCENIC ROUTES
Three beautiful places to have an accident.
KNOW YOUR ENEMY
Everything on the lane is technically avoidable. Technically.
Hay Bale
Barn-fresh and barn-sized. Your radiator's least favourite snack.
Rock
Geology's speed bump. It's been parked there since the Ice Age.
Fence
Keeps the cows in and the tractors out. Yours is no exception.
Puddle
Just a splash, you think. Your bodywork disagrees, loudly.
Crate
Says 'FRAGILE' on the side. The label lied.
Snowdrift
Winter's ambush. Fluffy on the outside, chassis-deep inside.
Ice Patch
Barely a scratch - but your steering wheel has left the chat.
Tree
The original immovable object. It was here first and it knows it.
Machinery
Normally you'd tow this on the back. Who left it here?!
…and the locals, wandering through
Pig
Crosses right to left on pure confidence. Zero road sense.
Sheep
Ambles left to right. Technically just wool with momentum.
Horse
The fastest thing in the field, and proud of it. You won't be.
Cow
Strolls right to left like she pays the mortgage. She might.
WORTH THE DENTS
Not everything on the lane wants you dead.
Diesel Can
Liquid miles. The sweet smell of not walking home.
Coin
Legal tender, mysteriously scattered mid-carriageway. Grab it.
Spare Part
Paid upgrade Roadside repairs, no waiting for the recovery lorry.
Armour Plate
Paid upgrade One plate soaks up one full hit. Fashion meets function.
MORE THAN A WRECK
Well. Slightly more.
Garage & upgrades
Tune the engine, fit better tyres, soften the suspension. Spend coins. Feel faster.
Dramatic brakes
They glow, they smoke, they take a little holiday. Manage the heat or become scenery.
Persistent damage
Every dent comes home with you and stays until you pay for it. Like real life, but cheaper.
Coins for chaos
Distance pays. Smashing things pays better - if your tractor's built for it.
XP & unlocks
Every run levels you up. Better tractors and harder tracks await the persistent.
Global leaderboard
Share your furthest run and see how it measures up. Literally.